Should I Fight or Should I Let Go?

I had a strange feeling that I just don’t want to feel. But my mind kept thinking of that certain SOMEONE. I just don’t know what to do to remove him into my mind.

This feeling starts when I accidentally fall for my friend. I just don’t know if it is right or wrong. And because he is my friend, I don’t want him to go away from me. So I decided not to tell him about my feelings. I just don’t want our friendship to be broken about that crazy feeling of mine. As day goes by, my feeling became stronger and stronger that I can’t resist staring at him intentionally. I always do want he wants and still don’t refuse to. But then, I still show what we normally do, the laughter, the “kulitan” time and especially the “asaran” time. I feel that I’m so bitter to him that I always make “taray” to him, but not intentionally. Because I think that I should be like that for him not to feel or to knew what the real feelings in me.

Even if I don’t want to expect anything, I can always see a reason for it. He is always on my side, he’s sometimes good to me and also he doesn’t want me to be mad. He stops when he feels I’m angry. He just stays quiet when I’m teasing him. He doesn’t tease me back for what I’ve done. And now I’m seeing his concerns to me.

But a time came that I can’t control my jealousy. And badly it is for my other friend. She just keeps telling that she like my boy. She acts obviously, that she always go close with him. I just can’t fight the feeling that conquering my heart and my mind. My mind keeps thinking that that girl is so lucky because even my boy knew about her feelings; it is still ok for my boy. So I just kept thinking, how about if he knew that I also like him, does he still react like that? Or will be the opposite? Will he still be on my side or will he ran away? These are the things that run into my mind. And I don’t know what to do. I want to tell him but I’m not ready for his reaction. I want to tell him for my heart will not suffering to this kind of heartache.

How can I move on? Do I need to tell him or just shut my mouth until my feelings for him is gone? Should I tell him and let love take place or should I hide it under a friendship full of pretending? Should I FIGHT for LOVE or should I LET GO for FRIENDSHIP?